Let me start off by saying that I LOVE Starbucks.

Truly, I do.

In fact, if it wasn’t for my daily dose of Starbucks coffee I don’t think my circulatory system would circulate.

There is nothing on this planet more “life force giving” as when Starbucks coffee hits my bloodstream; making my heart race, my hands shake, my teeth chatter, and my pupils dilate, right before my eyes start spinning around in my head like a slot machine in Atlantic City.

I feel renewed and totally rebalanced.

And I think it’s actually caused me to grow more hair on my chest, so now my pecs look like a double-dense furry futon mattress.

Starbucks brews coffee the way I like it…

…strong and delightfully EVIL.

However, I don’t know about where any of you live, but here in Philly there is a Starbucks located on every corner.

* ok, that’s a slight exaggeration, but there’s at least one on every fifth corner.

God forbid you have to walk more than two feet to find a Starbucks.

I googled the city with the most Starbucks and Vegas was #1. Seattle and Portland were 2 and 3.

I’m not surprised that Vegas is #1, considering that caffeine must make people gamble faster.

Now, my question is this…

…how the HELL do all these stores make a profit by flooding the market with too much availability?

Oh, that’s right I forgot…

…they charge $4.95 for a venti Frappuccino.

One of life’s luxuries