True Life Stories & True Life Issues
Let me start off by saying that I LOVE Starbucks.
Truly, I do.
In fact, if it wasn’t for my daily dose of Starbucks coffee I don’t think my circulatory system would circulate.
There is nothing on this planet more “life force giving” as when Starbucks coffee hits my bloodstream; making my heart race, my hands shake, my teeth chatter, and my pupils dilate, right before my eyes start spinning around in my head like a slot machine in Atlantic City.
I feel renewed and totally rebalanced.
And I think it’s actually caused me to grow more hair on my chest, so now my pecs look like a double-dense furry futon mattress.
Starbucks brews coffee the way I like it…
…strong and delightfully EVIL.
However, I don’t know about where any of you live, but here in Philly there is a Starbucks located on every corner.
* ok, that’s a slight exaggeration, but there’s at least one on every fifth corner.
God forbid you have to walk more than two feet to find a Starbucks.
I googled the city with the most Starbucks and Vegas was #1. Seattle and Portland were 2 and 3.
I’m not surprised that Vegas is #1, considering that caffeine must make people gamble faster.
Now, my question is this…
…how the HELL do all these stores make a profit by flooding the market with too much availability?
Oh, that’s right I forgot…
…they charge $4.95 for a venti Frappuccino.
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