True Life Blog

We each have a personal musical path through our lives, woven by deliberate forces such as radio and TV, shared experiences such as concerts and our friend’s iPod, and in the random, spontaneous music of our community.  We each experience a unique combination of musical influences, which are entwined with our moods, perception and life moments. So while many people “like” a particular song, the way it affects them and moves them is very personal.

As a child, much of my musical environment came from my parents. My father loved the clarinet solos of Benny Goodman and the trumpet work of Louis Armstrong. In a pre-rock era, these guys rocked, and their music crackled with creativity and energy.

My parents ran a small tourist resort, called Bala Cozy Cabins — 16 cottages on Moon River. Once a week we’d have a big bonfire for the guests in the late evening. When the fire settled down we’d roast hot dogs and marshmallows. As darkness fell I became more aware of the music piped down to the beach by my father. I would pause in my game of hide-and-seek, and hear songs by artists like Mitch Miller, who lead a choir in songs like “You are my sunshine” and “Heart of my heart“. Around the glow of the fire we shared the music.

As a young teen, I remember a Christmas in which my parents gave me a Donny Osmond album, when what I had in mind was Led Zeppelin. In that moment a realization came to me: that no matter how much I loved someone, I would have my own choice of music. My parents respected that, and I believe that everyone does.

Music can be communal — winding us together in shared vibrations, moments and even dreams. But always music is personal — a deep celebration of the world around us and within.

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At the core of our lives are two powerful traits: responsibility and compassion. While they sound like lofty ideals, responsibility and compassion are actually life’s calls to action, built into each of us. We know there are things we should do, and we know when we should be helpful and sensitive to others.  Knowing these things doesn’t make us responsible and compassionate — it is acting on these feelings by participating.

When we are young, most things are done for us. Mothers, fathers and caregivers watch over us, and try to give us what we need — both physically and emotionally.

As we get older, we learn skills and develop an understanding of the needs and emotions of both ourselves and others. Life prepares us, step by step, to move beyond receiving to giving and doing.

By the time we are teens we understand the power of action, and experience the sometimes unsettling shift to our own vital role in making things work out. We become aware that there are things to do, and feelings beyond our own that are worthy of care and consideration.

While each of us needs times of rest and self-focus, being active and involved provides satisfaction and a joy of life that is felt on many levels.

As any elderly person with arthritis will tell you, there is a joy to being able to use our hands. Our bodies and minds like to do things, and there can be pleasure in simple chores — even washing the dishes or taking out the garbage. Human hands are wonderful creations, and using them to help ourselves and others is not just their essential purpose — it physically feels good!

Responsibility and compassion are essential for all successful relationships. We live in community, and though each of us needs our private time, being involved with others is a big part of our lives. When we make the shared parts of our lives better we all benefit. The key word here is “better”, and as anyone will tell you, “better” doesn’t happen on its own — making things better takes action; it takes effort.

There is a special, intense feeling of joy when we bring a smile to others. Some of the best smiles result from sharing a moment of appreciation, celebrating our shared efforts.  It is a smile that says “We are doing this together“.

When times are tough, knowing that someone cares brings strength and hope, but when someone takes action we see our situation improving, and that is a powerful inspiration for people.  Seeing progress — even a slow, small bit — can be like a train starting to move out of the station. It is exciting even if it is mundane, because action moves us forward.

Each of us has personal goals, and knows how good it feels to have something we care about work out. The same positive feelings are experienced for the goals we help others with. In fact, helping others can feel even better than helping yourself.

While ideas and knowledge are good things, it is the doing of things that makes life good.

There is a happy middle ground between exhaustion and idleness, and between servitude and insensitivity — it is being responsible and compassionate.

When we share in what needs to be done — helping each other, and being sensitive to each other’s feelings — we can get the right things done. We can help things work out.

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My father’s hammer, by Rob Hueniken (http://www.robhueniken.com)

Stepping into my father’s workshop always takes me back in time. Not only are my parents collectors of memorabilia, but they continue to make good use of the things they already have. So when I look around my father’s garage I see tools that have existed since I was a boy, including a vice, a band saw, and various ancient screw drivers.

While my mother prepared our lunch, my father showed me his latest project – to add a second door to the front hallway, to keep the cold air out, but with a window to keep the light flowing in. Their front door already has a window in it, so a second door with a window would let my parents keep the natural light.

Being a resourceful person, my Dad took an unused door, removed a wooden panel, and was busy inserting a Plexiglas window into its heart. It was at this stage of the project that I arrived – to help my Dad nail in the Plexiglas.

As he prepared to starting hammering, a big smile came to my face – he was using the same finishing hammer that I had used as a boy. It was a bit more worn now, but it was still the same light-weight hammer I had used, before I was strong enough to use a regular hammer.  But in my Dad’s case, he knew that this job required a finishing hammer, so that is what he was using.

My role turned out to be supplying my father with one inch finishing nails, one at a time, while he hammered them carefully into place. He has a steady, practiced hand and not once did he bend a nail or dent the door with an errant hammer blow.

As I watched him working carefully and skillfully, I remembered my own hand on that hammer, and him helping me on projects. To be working together, with the simple job of handing him the next nail, was a sublime and satisfying joy – one that transcended the moment — connecting the two of us through years of building and sharing time together.

One hammer but many moments together – the joy of working side-by-side is not secondary, but the most important product of my father’s hammer.

If you enjoyed this article, please read my poem about cleaning my son’s workshop area.

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Thanksgiving weekend is one of my oldest and favorite memories. Occurring in the fall, its usual reason is the celebration of the harvest.

Thanksgiving arrives amidst fresh apples, orange leaves and and even more brightly orange pumpkins. The corn fields, tall from a busy summer of growing, are now laden and dense, ready for their harvest haircut. The fall is definitely a time of plenty.

So if you said that Thanksgiving is about turkey and pie you wouldn’t find many people to argue with you, but you would definitely find people.

After a summer of going off on vacation, Thanksgiving is the time that brings us back together. No matter where we’ve gone, what we’ve done and what we’ve seen, Thanksgiving is a time to gather, and share.

Cousins, friends, parents, coworkers and siblings — people come to mind and come together for Thanksgiving.

We plan our get-togethers, and bring some food. Old friends, new friends — we invite and we gather.  We hug, we cook, we laugh and play — we’re celebrating life together.

When the harvest comes there is lots to be thankful for — but not much more than what we can celebrate every day.

Share smiles, call people, get together and have a meal. The things we want are really the times we share. Be thankful for the people.

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While some people cannot tell the difference between cats and dogs, there are actually ways to tell them apart.

	Cats can be eaten by frogs. Unlike the more manic and fast-moving dog, sleepy-headed cats can find themselves gnawed on by a stealthy frog — particularly the Wide-mouthed Couch frog. Cat owners should be checking under their sofa seats to ensure that their favorite feline can catch a nap without fear of frog slobber. [Advertising opportunity: Does your company sell a safe and reliable frog slobber blob dauber, or kitty-sized jaws of life? Global warming will double, yes double, the need for cat-extraction technology, as well as the need to provide homes and distribution channels for these lovable and misunderstood Wide-mouth Couch frogs. Contact us!]
	Dogs are bigger than cats. While dogs are generally larger than cats, both dog and cat legs usually reach the ground — unlike those in this rare photo of the North American Ground-dwelling Dog. Similar to camels, dogs can often go for long periods of time without a meal or a fatty snack — sometimes up to half an hour! [Advertising opportunity: The market is growing for fatty snacks, preferably those suitable for the human/dog crossover market. Think “meaty-fruity-fibre”. Doggy wagons (to put the dog into, not to be pulled by the dog) are also needed. No frail wagons, please! These dogs can dent pavement! Contact us!]
	Cats can see farther than dogs. Thanks to their higher-altitude perches on sofas, computer keyboards and otherwise clean kitchen counters, cats can see things farther away — at least in those moments between napping duties. While parrots were the choice of most fictional pirates, the Japanese Standing Cat — seen checking the horizon for seafaring mice — narrowly missed its chance to stand tall and proud, like a fluffy gopher. [Training opportunity: Japanese Standing Cats will soon be joining the opera tour circuit of Europe, and showing up in other fancy places, as the warm-up act and body-doubles for shy opera singers. Problem: none of the them (I mean “cats” here) seem to speak either English or European. This is a major opportunity to surge ahead in the exciting opera-focused entertainment arena. Contact us!]
	Dogs travel further and faster. Seen here in a high-speed travel holster, modern dogs use both their own legs as well as motion-assisting devices, including cars, circus ponies, and high speed mag-lev trains — basically they are happy being out and about, on their way to another snack or sniff-fest. While few dogs are able to book their own travel, they are eager to be on their way, running to the door at the first sound of words resembling “walk”, “run” or “What is wrong with this dog?” This is unlike cats, which would wear a groove into the linoleum between the food dish, litter box and sofa if their paws weren’t so absolutely dainty. [Advertising opportunity: We’re looking for companies who can convince all women to carry dogs in the travel holsters we had designed for us by a previous Manufacturing opportunity. Help us!]
Photo by austinite	Cats are cleaner. Thanks to advances in water-free tubs and tuna-flavored soaps, cats around the world are swirling their fur balls down the drain. Unlike dogs, which are satisfied with sleeping on dirty welcome mats, cats know that a shiny coat, clean butt and “it’s all about me” attitude are vital social attributes for getting past the door and closer to the couch. Plus, cats taste great, both during grooming and after! [At least to cats.] [Research opportunity: The water-free tubs currently preferred by cats don’t actually exist. We’re looking for researchers to help us figure out what other things cats might pretend they own. Think about contacting us!]
Photo by FreeDigitalPhotos	Dogs have a lot on their minds. As this photo shows, dogs are clearly brilliant thinkers. It can take a lot of planning, insight and careful strategy to be as close to food as possible without annoying your master. While cats might become aloof and cranky when they don’t make the lecture circuit, dogs see this down-time as an opportunity to consider weighty issues, such as fat-to-fibre snack ratios, maximizing head pats, and the effects of air fresheners on both wet and dry noses. [There are no research opportunities here — the dogs are already handling all the deep thinking.]
Yes, cats and dogs are just a bit different ! [Return to the home page of MakingMoreOfToday.com.]

	Make a big deal of everything. Sure, we all have things we really care about, but what do we gain by insisting it’s our way or it’s no way? Stress. It’s amazing how the tension evaporates from our shoulders when someone says, “I’m fine with that”, or “That could work.”
	Have the wrong pet, or be the wrong owner. If you think your pet always looks like this, or perhaps that your pet would like to kill you, then it’s time to think outside the litter box. Your style might not work with this pet, and changing how you spend time with your pet might make you both happier. Or maybe someone else might love the little scoundrel more.
	Make your mother look like this. Everyone wants to be treated with respect, or at least with courtesy. Know when you’re having a bad day and don’t take it out on those closest to you. They love you, but hey, you have a lot of say over what words come out of your mouth.
	Eat a lot of junk food. Eating a lot of fatty snacks is a wonderful luxury, and a growing source of grief and grumpiness. When we put on pounds we lose the spring in our step, and like it or not, feeling heavy is a drag. When did we forget how fantastic fruit is? Be an emperor and eat some grapes!
	Insist on doing life on your own. We all need some time to ourselves — even extroverts (such as when they vote). Everyone needs to have friends, to share good times and get through bad times. When we think that two heads aren’t better than one then we’re also saying two hearts aren’t better than one. People need community, and it’s often just a smile away.
	Don’t get enough sleep. This is an excellent way to make not only yourself but lots of people around you grumpy. And unlike eating too many fatty snacks you can generate gallons of grumpiness very quickly. There are some types of fun that require staying up really late and listening to either drunken people yelling or long-dead actors on TV. But surprisingly, most things in life can happen within our usual sleeping cycle.  Cut out a bit early and wake up feeling refreshed.
	Drink more than you know you should. What are we, still 15 years old? Bio-chem students might seem a bit nerdy but they do know an essential secret: that alcohol at high levels is toxic, messy, and a great source of vitamin G (yes, G is for Grumpiness). Don’t be like this pumpkin — all orange and dumping their insides. You’ll still have fun.
	Try to do too much. This isn’t just about work, but about all areas of our lives. When did overdoing everything become a national contest? There will always be more things to do than we have time for and the skills for. Working together on projects is a great way to make headway and to share the joy of progress. We need to be able to say “no”, ask for help, and find a new balance of quality and quantity. If your life is a parody of a soccer Mom then it’s time for a time out.
	Treat small mistakes like the end of the world. Things go wrong — every day — but rarely will they bring down the sky. We have a vested interest in the current moment of our life and when it goes wrong it can surprise us. People can get frustrated and defensive. They can even go beyond grumpy to all-out anger. Be kind and forgiving to yourself and those around you. Instead of making a big deal, try a shrug and say “Oops” when things go wrong. You’ll find most mistakes are quickly forgotten.
	Take all the credit. We all contribute, but in different ways. Each day is part of a long term project called life, and the task that just got done is threaded through the lives of people who helped along the way — whether you know or appreciate them or not. Celebrate victories with gusto, and small successes too — prevent grumpiness by acknowledging shared efforts. We aren’t living in cold caves like smelly cavemen. Enjoy sharing the spotlight, and be thankful for living in community.

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As the stage designer for an 1100-seat auditorium I get to spend a lot of time up a ladder, reaching for things. Drapery, fishing line, cable ties and scissors are just some of the items I carry, tweak and twist while 10 feet off the ground.  I have a great respect for the stage, especially when I get to stand on it instead of looking down at it from a ladder.

A recent stage design was based on the community theme of “Being Connected”, and used gears and steel trusses to give a mechanical representation of people being connected in many ways. With LED backlighting it came to life, and I really enjoyed it.

When it was time to take it down, I was back up the ladder. Sometimes I have an irrational worry that I am taking the stage apart when there is still one show to go, but I have yet to make that mistake. It is amazing how quickly we can take something apart that took a lot of time and effort to create!

Part way through taking down the pieces I came to the horizontal truss, which ran between two sets of gears. It was a heavy structure and had many pieces of 40-pound fishing line making sure it stayed up. I stood at the top of the ladder, looking down at the truss and fishing line, trying to figure out how to get the thing down without it crashing into the stage.

And then it hit me — my perspective was wrong. I was looking at the problem the wrong way. I climbed down the ladder to the stage floor and laughed — the truss was only five feet off the ground, and I could easily take it down from the safety of terra firma.

I had gotten so used to doing things while up the ladder that I had missed the easy solution.  My focus had been reduced to what I could do from my usual position.

It’s a good reminder of how we can get in a rut — doing things the same way — when a better, perhaps easier way, is within reach.

Some of our challenges can be solved by changing our position physically, and others by changing our position mentally or philosophically [also known as learning something new]. When something seems hard to do, or outside your usual patterns, try taking a look at it from a different perspective, and see if you can see it differently.

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The finishing moment of many pleasant restaurant meals is having a fortune cookie. Dropped off with the cheque, fortune cookies are a final treat, and usually a source of optimistic wisdom. So it surprised me when I opened my fortune cookie to find this message: “You may be hungry soon: order a takeout now.”

At first I thought that the cookie writer was expanding upon an old joke about Chinese food burning off quickly, but then I read it again.

Yes, I would be hungry soon — not “may be hungry soon”. I would want something to eat, and I would get something to eat. It might not be takeout food from this restaurant that I would eat, but I would definitely be eating again, and soon.

The marketing machine of North America knows full well [even though they are always hungry] that eating is a major source of profit in the world.

With the triple power-house of sugar, fat and salt, the food industries tempt our tongues with textures and our eyes with scenes of happy, shared moments — much to the detriment of our stomachs and our health. In an entertainment-focused society it is not surprising that the marketing machine would be churning out food as a source of pleasure and spending.

Most people can’t even say they actually experience hunger, because hunger has an element of duration. We are never hungry for long here in the land of enormous meals and endless snack food.

Like most people, I love eating, and I love sharing meals with family and friends. But what I don’t like is the continuous eating pressure beamed at us via TV, radio, print ads and now fortune cookies.

We all know that food is essential for our health, and good food in good quantities can help us be healthy.

I think the writer of this fortune cookie inadvertently crossed a line and opened a Pandora’s box of awareness for me. He helped me see just how relentless and widespread eating pressure is in our society.

It has made me aware, and I will be watching food ads now with more care and attention.

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