Try to imagine placing something about the size of a ping-pong ball inside your mouth and having it protrude out the side of your left cheek along your jaw bone.

Are you imaging that?

Well, that’s about what I looked like on Wednesday afternoon when I walked into the dentist office.

For about four days before it grew to that size, I had been carefully tending to this tooth issue on my own by using natural herbal remedies, energy work and reflexology. And before any of you say, “OMG Ron….are you CRAZY?”, I just want you to know that both dentists who attended me could not believe that I was virtually in NO PAIN and had been able to keep the infection localized. So, whatever I had been doing helped tremendously, but I also knew that I was at a point of seeking medical help.

The first dentist I saw took one look at me and said, “This is serious, I need to send you to an oral surgeon downstairs who is probably going to have to drain it and then put on you on heavy-duty penicillin.”

When the oral surgeon saw me he FREAKED.

After x-rays were taken and he examined the inside my mouth, the surgeon concluded that it would definitely need to be drained. He said he could use a general anesthetic, which would mean I would have to come back the following day because I needed to have someone drive me home after the surgery. Or, he could use a local anesthetic which meant he could do it immediately, but also added that because of the size of the abscess I would most likely feel pain. After giving it some consideration, I decided that I just wanted to get it over with so that I didn’t have to return the following day at 8 a.m.

He said, “Okay, I’ll be right back.” And left the room.

His dental assistant looked at me through squinting eyes and whispered, “Are you really sure you want to do this with just a local?”

I said, “Why? Do you think it’s going to be THAT painful?”

Gently nodding her head. “It might.”

I said, “Oh well…..pray for me then.”

After the surgeon returned, he shot my mouth with enough Novocain to numb an elephant and three wild apes.

Ten minutes later, he said, “Are you ready?”

I said, “Ready.”

Just then the assistant placed a full-length plastic shield over her face and turned on the suction hose.

He said to her, “Suction ready?”

She responded, “Suction ready.”

He said, “Okay…here we go.”

I suddenly pondered, Gee….I wonder if should have chosen the GENERAL?

Too late.

Now here’s where this story gets a little graphic, so you may want to close your eye’s while reading this.

As he made the incision with the scalpel, I thought to myself, Hey…that’s not bad at all, I didn’t feel a thing. Then, as he took another sharp-looking instrument and carefully inserted it within the incision to puncture the abscess, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

It literally felt like he shoved a pitchfork all the way through my jaw until it reached my shoulder. I don’t think I have ever felt pain like that before in my 54 years of life.

THEN….

He took his thumb and FIRMLY pressed the outside of the abscess so that it would drain through the incision.

It was at this point I realized….

YES…I SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN THE GENERAL!!!!

All I could hear were the sounds of the suction hose and dental assistants’ gentle voice saying to me, “Just keep taking deep breaths Ron, deep breaths…you’re doing great.”

God love her, she was like a little dental cheerleader.

The surgeon had to do this procedure TWO more times.

I remember grabbing the arms on the chair and squeezing them so hard, I thought I was going to pull them off. I also began humming absentmindedly to distract myself.

I finally heard the assistant say to me, “Okay…it’s all over, the only thing he has to do now is put in a small drain and stitch it up.

After the surgeon left the room, I turned my head to look at the assistant and said, “Well, that was perhaps one of the most delightful things I’ve ever experienced. I may have to try this again sometime soon.”

She laughed and sweetly said, “I told you it might hurt.”

When I got up from the chair and took a gander at myself in the mirror, I gasped. I looked like one of the ghouls in the Michael Jackson video, Thriller.

After I picked up my prescription and walked into my apartment, I literally collapsed from nervous exhaustion. But I’ve got to tell you, after the Novocain wore off I was shocked, because I had very little pain.

By the next day the swelling had subsided tremendously and I began to feel so much better.

So anyway, that’s my story folks. And like with any story there is sometimes a moral.

The moral of this story is….

Always choose the LOCAL.

Because it makes for a much better blog post.

Hi folks!

On Wednesday afternoon, I had to have emergency oral surgery performed on a nasty tooth abscess.

And can I just tell you something?

It was not the least bit enjoyable.

However, I think it will make for a great blog post next week.

That is, once I can begin forgetting how painful it was to have an abscess drained under a LOCAL anesthetic.

(and that was MY choice, not the oral surgeons)

Yet, I’m please to report that I’m healing well and feeling soooooooo much better than I did on Wednesday.

Between the horrendously uncomfortable heat we’ve been experiencing, and my recent surgery, I’ve not had a very good five days.

In fact, I would even go so far as to call myself a BITCH WITCH this week.

I feel like I’ve been living in the burning flames of hell, while experiencing a Stephen Kings version of The Tooth Fairy.

So, I’ve decided to take this weekend off from blogging to spend quiet time, resting and relaxing at home while continuing to care for myself.

I’ve also rented a few newly released movies that I’ve been wanting to watch, but haven’t had the time.

Please know that I’m doing well, so no worries.

And I’ll be back on Monday…..

Quite frequently while I’m googling for photos to add to my blog posts, I will discover images that I may not being looking for at the time, but will suddenly give me an idea for a future post.

I know this may sound strange, but often times I get my blog post ideas from an image first, then write the post afterward.

An image will sometimes spark inspiration.

Last week while surfing the Internet, I stumbled upon some really amazing photographs of unusual-looking animals. I have no idea how or why these photographs showed up, because I was essentially googling for images that pertained to writing.

However, I guess fate took over and somehow lead me to someone who I feel has a very special gift with a camera; especially when it comes to taking photographs of animals.

Those of you who have been reading my blog for some time now, know that I have a soft spot in my heart for animals. I also have a soft spot in my heart for babies. Show me a picture of a cute little baby and I’m all goo-goo-ga-ga.

And show me a picture of a cute critter and I get all animal CRACKERS.

Today I would like to share the talent of photographer, IN CHERL KIM, who lives in Seoul, Korea.

I spent an hour looking through his photostream and had a very difficult time picking just eight.

Most of these were taken at the Everland Zoo in Korea.

A Fennec Fox

A Pig Tailed Monkey

Awww….look at those sweet little eyes.

A newborn Tiger

Notice the butterfly that landed on it‘s head. Isn’t nature astounding?

A Brazza Monkey

He looks like a wise old sage who is about to say something very enlightening, doesn’t he?

A White Peacock

OMG…isn’t this stunning? I’ve never seen a white peacock before.

Golden Monkey’s

Look at their faces – it’s as if they were actually painted. Serious-looking animals, aren’t they?

Chimpanzee and Orangutan Love

I bet this shot was taking on their wedding day and he’s saying to her, “Don’t worry my love, I promise to be gentle tonight.”

A tiny baby Marmoset

Have you ever seen anything so tiny and precious? I wish I had one of these when I was a kid for Show and Tell.

If you have some time this week, please stop by Flickr to see more amazing photos from this gifted photographer.

UPDATE:

I’m having MAJOR problems with comments right now. Some are being published and others are not. So, if you’ve commented in past two days and do not see your comment, I’m so sorry. This morning I published my comments held in moderation and none of them showed up. Oh well, I suppose they’ll show up eventually. That is, whenever Blogger gets around to FIXING it. Thank you for your patience and understanding everyone…X

No sooner do I trim and coif the hair in my nostrils, two or three days later I once again have what appears to be two little bunny rabbits growing out of my schnozzola.

It’s strange, because as the hair on my head recedes, the hair in my nose seems to precede.

I’ve nicknamed my nose, Busch Gardens.

Last week at work while I was waiting on a customer, I kept feeling a little “tickle” on the side of my right nostril. And the whole time I’m talking to the customer, I repeatedly flicked my index finger over the tip of my nose; trying to indiscreetly scratch it without making it seem as though I was picking a boogie.

After the customer made their purchase and left the store, I ran to the nearest mirror to investigate what was going on with my nose.

And guess what I saw?

I saw a LONG dark gray hair protruding from my right nostril.

OH. MY. GOD.

All I could think about was what the customer must have been thinking, while I was selling them a BEAUTY product with a hair sticking out of my nose that looked like a 4 inch iron carpentry nail.

How FREAKIN’ embarrassing was that?

The only thing I could think to do was to daintily stuff it back inside my nostril until I got home.

The second I got inside my apartment that evening, I ran to the bathroom, grabbed my nose hair scissors and CLIPPED that sucker out.

It must have weighed about 10 pounds because when the hair hit the sink, I actually heard a “clink” sound.

Anyway….

My abundant nose hair agenda seems to be getting worse every year. And summertime seems to make them grow like weeds.

Which leaves me with one aggressive alternative solution.

Gardening tools…..

Just call me……Pippi Longstocking

First, I want to say, I hope you Madame’s and Monsieur’s had a super week.

I miss ya’ll terribly.

Needless to say, my week in retail was exhausting, long, and chaotic. However, you would have been so proud of me because I didn’t even have the slightest urge to tell an annoying customer to sit on a hot curling iron and spin like I did during this past Christmas retail season.

Now that means I’m either getting more patient or that I’m learning how to say, “BITE ME” with just my eyes.

Luckily, there was also a lot of laughter and frivolity amongst my co-workers and I in order to keep us sane. Part of that had to do with the fact that we were eating bags of Animal Crackers, chocolate, and drinking coffee during our 9-10 hour work shifts.

This is known as “Mandatory Holiday Retail Sustenance.”

One of the women I work with told me about a hilarious video she saw about Viagra for women on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Can you believe I actually had to ask her, “Who the hell is Jimmy Kimmel??”

Not being someone who ever turns my TV on other than to watch a DVD rental, I had no idea who she was talking about until she said, “He’s a late night talk show host, RON!!”

And after searching You Tube, I was finally able to find the actual Viagra video.

She was right….it was freakin’ HILARIOUS!

Curiosity got the best of me, so I spent the evening googling the Internet, “does Viagra really work for woman?” and found this on Go Ask Alice.

Apparently, Viagra does not have the identical effect on women as it does on men, because of one obvious reason….

The sweet image you see above is from Herman Turnip, author of Terrible Analogies.

This is a photograph of he and his son Tyler, hanging out together; watching TV.

When I saw this photo posted on Hermans’ blog, I felt like it totally epitomized the essence of a fathers’ love. So, I asked him if I could share it on my Father’s Day post, and he graciously consented.

Thank you, Herman!

For me, there is nothing more touching than seeing a father with child. It is a beautiful combination of strength and gentleness.

Whenever I think of a fathers’ love, I see a male lion with both his strong protective instinct, and his ability to also be tender and caring.

Here is a poem I found on the Internet, that truly defines what makes a dad.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, GUYS!

Note: Since I will be working additional hours this week, I’ve decided to take the week off from blogging. I look forward to seeing everyone next Monday. Have a great week, peeps….X

Even if the most renown psychic predicted that one day I would be moving back to the northeast, I think I’d have to tell them they must be using a broken deck of Tarot Cards.

I was originally born here in Pennsylvania, then moved to Florida for 20 years, then moved back to the northeast 9 years ago.

When my family moved to Florida in 1973, I was ecstatic. I had always dreamed of living some place tropical, where the sun shined almost 24/7 and the cold harsh winters were void.

I became what you could call, a sun bunny.

I would sit on the beach for 5-6 hours, while lying on a silver mat that reflected the suns’ rays in order to keep my perpetual Malibu Ken tan.

Last month I went along to an event to promote French lingerie brands put on by Lingerie Francaise, and if there is any nation that do lingerie well it’s the French. It was a real eye opener and  not just because there were some gorgeous ladies prancing about in their undies!

The French have a different approach to lingerie. It’s very much about beautifully well-crafted garments and lace and padded bras are just not as popular as they are with us Brits. In fact, I spoke to many of the brands there and it was suggested that British women and French women even get dressed differently in the morning. According to one expert, a French woman chooses her outfit and then picks the best bra to go with that outfit… most British women, put on their underwear and then proceed to put their outfit over the top. It’s a subtle difference, but you can see that it would make a difference to the overall look and body confidence.

Chantelle, one of the gorgeous brands I had the pleasure of speaking with have provided their top tips below for finding the perfect bra…

• If your bra rides up your back or if you can slide your hand down the strap it’s a clear sign it’s too big!
         
• Your breasts should be sitting half way between your elbow and shoulder when your arms are down flat
         
• When buying a new bra it should fit comfortably on the loosest hook. Even the most expensive bra will lose some elasticity through lots of machine washes so this will also give you the ability to tighten it later on
   
• Hand washing underwear is best but if you must machine wash, use a small underwear bag for that extra protection!
         
• If you’ve got for the 4 boob look going on then the cup size is way too small!!
         
• The bridge of the bra should sit comfortably on your rib cage so ladies if there is a large gap between the bridge and your body then chances are the cup is too small!
          
• When you lift your arms up in the air the bra should stay put, if it moves with you it’s a poor fit

Chantelle say: Don’t be mistaken that just because all the bras in your draw are one size, that that is the size you are! or that because you have been one size all your life you are still that size.  Along with everything else our bust changes in shape and size and you should ideally get measured every six months.