My buddy Mark over at Mark My Words, shared a very open and honest post about a discussion he and his wife had with family members and their friends over the holidays, which partially included the topic of homosexuality being a choice.

So I owe my inspiration for this post to Mark, because he sparked me to share my voice on this topic.

Thanks Mark!


I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that they honestly believed homosexuality is something you choose.

Almost like choosing between a plaid shirt or a striped shirt.

And what I usually ask is, “Did you choose to be heterosexual, or we’re you born that way?”

And their answer is always, “I was born this way.”

I reply, “Well…there you go.”


For as long as I can remember, I have always known I was homosexual. Of course when I was younger, I didn’t know the definition homosexuality, yet I still knew I was attracted to the same gender.

And please allow me to share that when I say attracted to, I don’t mean just sexually, I also mean emotionally. And I share this because many people believe that homosexuality has only to do with a physical attraction. However, it’s just like heterosexuality, men are attracted to women and women are attracted to men not only on a physical level, but also on an emotional level.

The only difference with homosexuality is that you are attracted to the same gender, both physically and emotionally – it’s the gender you feel more drawn to share a loving and committed bond with.

Yes, a person who is born homosexual can ignore it, resist it, or try to change it. They may even attempt to put it on hold until much later in life, but it’s always there. Always. So really, the only choice I can see being made by someone who is homosexual, is their choice to accept it.

For me, I just accepted being homosexual because it always felt the way I should be. I never allowed the pressures of society or religion to dictate what I should accept or not accept about myself. I always felt that because I was born this way, there was no mistake.

And yes, my family knew that I was homosexual as well. Yet, it’s not like we talked about it all the time when I was younger, but they knew and accepted it. But even if they hadn’t, it would not have altered how I felt about myself.

I knew I was different, but different didn’t ever make me feel that it was anything to be ashamed of, or make me feel unequal or less valuable.

I never felt as if something was wrong with me.

I simply knew that I was born different in who I was attracted to, that’s all.

I would like to conclude this post by saying that I sincerely hope it helps anyone who may have a misconception of homosexuality and choice; giving them a clearer understanding.

You don’t wake up one day and say to yourself, “I’m going to choose to be homosexual.”

Nor, can any experience ever make you suddenly become homosexual.

Believe me when I tell you, a person is born this way.

It’s not a choice.

Have a terrific weekend everyone!