Well folks, it’s finally here.

The scariest day of my life….BLACK FRIDAY.

I think it’s strange that for someone who has been in the retail industry for umpteen years, I’ve never known where the term Black Friday came from.

Thank heavens for wikipedia, because I discovered it’s origin right here in Philadelphia.

“The term Black Friday originated in Philadelphia in reference to the heavy traffic on that day. More recently, merchants and the media have used it instead to refer to the beginning of the period in which retailers go from being in the red (i.e., posting a loss on the books) to being in the black (i.e., turning a profit).”

Hey, what do you know….I always just assumed the term Black Friday originated from the opinion of sales associates, as a term of endearment for what it felt like to experience the horror of being eaten by Hannibal Lecter.

Let me be honest and say that if I weren’t in the retail industry you would never catch me shopping today, other than maybe stopping in CVS for emergency items, such as a pack of cigarettes or toilet paper.

What totally amazes me are the people who wake up at the ass-crack of dawn to stand in a long line, so they can get a complimentary cup of coffee and a Krispy Kreme donut for being the first 20,000 customers to enter the store on Friday morning….


I wouldn’t wake up at the ass-crack of dawn on Black Friday, even if Barbra Streisand was making a guest appearance at Target; autographing each donut with a Sharpie.

“And I love ya, Barbra….you know I do.”

Can I just tell you how much I look forward to walking into work today; having to coat my body with a heavy lubricant, so I can squeeze myself through the crowds of CRAZED shoppers?

And can I just tell you how much I look forward to having every customer ask me if what I’m selling comes with a FREE GIFT?

Or the customers who mistaken my store for a FLEA MARKET; asking if I can reduce the price if they purchase two items.

But most of all, can I tell you how much I look forward to having every customer who immediately walks in the door, ask me….

“Where are the restrooms?”

And do you know what I feel like telling them?

“They’re closed for repairs. So, you can I either pee in your pants or GO HOME!”

Let the horror begin!

Please note: I think this is the perfect opportunity for me to go back and reread my previous post about how GRATEFUL I am for my job, don’t you?